YOGOWYPI Rule #2

YOGOWYPI Rule #2: Only Boring People Get Bored. The phase "I am bored" is overused. The challenge is that using it is more a reflection on you than others, but we use it as an effort to blame others for our state of being. We are bored at school, bored at work, bored at home, bored with people, bored with situations.
Think of it this way: A boring person is usually making the statement because they are trying to claim that something outside of them is "making them feel bored". An exciting personality can make anything exciting! Even if I were totally boring you right now, you could be thinking: "Wow, how did this guy become so incredibly boring...how does he do it in such a short period of time. HE IS AMAZING!" Exciting people take excitement with them everywhere they go. They live in a sense of wonder about life and all that is around them and they realize that the only person responsible for their current state is themselves. Bottom line is boredom is a choice. You can choose to bring energy and passion to all that you do, you can choose to find wonder and amazement in all that you are. Choose to live, choose to discover, choose to bring energy!

YOGOWYPI Rule #1

YOGOWYPI has been my mantra for years. For those of you have been to my presetations you know that it is the underlying them behind everything I speak about. It a simple concept really: You Only Get Out What You Put In. I have several "Rules" that apply to the YOGOWYPI concept. In this Blog I will randomly post them as they occur to me.

YOGOWYPI Rule #1: You can get by...the question is who wants to just get by. We live in a great country. A country that has so many programs available to us that we will most likely survive. We can survive high school, college, our jobs, family, even the difficult times in life. We will likely survive. So we can show up, give the speech, do the job, go through the motions, get grades good enough to move on. In most cases you are going to survive. If you are reading this, you have survived. You have made it to this place in life. Congratulations. But is that all life is survival, biological functions, going through the motions. I think life is more about "THRIVING THAN SURVIVING". Thriving in difficult times is about the extra effort, enjoying the moments, embracing the challenges and creating the memories. What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail, and you knew you were going to survive? You are better off doing that! Go do the thing that you fear...then you will own the power that the fear had over you. Create a Memory. Thrive!

Bullying in Schools

Bullying seems to be one of those issues that we know exists in our schools but nobody seems to be doing the bullying.  I had the opportunity to address this issue with Anderson County High School in Garnett, Kansas today, and if you were to look at the amount of respect these students showed during the assembly you would never guess that they had any type of problems with bullying.  They were respectful, involved, participated in the program and I would guess that they have fewer problems associated with disrespectful behaviors than most schools.  Keep in mind this school is like most schools and just because we don't see a lot of it doesn't mean that we shouldn't address it. 

The constant barage of negative media, reality tv, online social interaction means that we need to be proactive in addressing respect in schools.  We see so many people getting paid (reality stars) for creating drama on tv, twitter, facebook etc. that bullying seems to be the new norm for how to interact with each other. It seems that everyone from The Jersey Shore to The Real Housewives of "any city USA" have been promoting that the only way to get to the top is to degreagate everyone in your presence.  Asserting your power whether it be your physical presence or using your social capital to get "one-up" on someone else seems to be the new way to gain status in our communities. Finding a solution begins with defining the many problems associated with bullying in our culture.


BIG PICTURE vs little picture Thinking

My friend and professional speaker Craig Hillier http://www.craighillier.com/ always says,

"Will remember you based on what you did for them or what you did to them."

I call this the 4-2 Principle.  When you spend your days walking the hallways of your school asking the question: What can I do for you instead of what can I do to you then you gain a lot of respect among your peers in the big picture. I think we would all agree that we would rather be remembered in a positive way, and if that is the case why would anyone bully another human being. Are some people just bad?  Are some people just "born to bully"? I don't think that is the case, but I do believe that people get a reward for bullying in the short-term (little picture). The bully thinks in the "Little Picture".  When a bullying behavior is initiated there is almost always some cheering, laughing and approval from bystanders. Bullying has its' own little picture or immediate gratification reward. This immediate gratification from bystanders gives the bully a reason to bully again as a way to up their social status among their peers.  In my assemblies after I have defined bullying, and students have seen that most of us have been guilty of bullying on some level I ask the question, "What happens to you internally after you have had some time to think about your behavior?" Most students agree that they are saddled with the pain of regret from their actions. You might think this doesn't make any sense, if I regret my actions why would I ever bully again? The reward for short term status is VERY powerful. If we get a reward, even if we know that we will regret it later, most people will continue to seek the reward.

Big Picture Thinking is much more difficult and the reward is not as immediate or as intensely satisfying in the short term.  Let's face it being kind and respectful is not as dramatic or as intense as being negative. Sure you might get a thank-you or a pat on the back but it as not nearly as exciting as the reward that comes from a group of people coming together through the pain of another individual. Couple that with all of the negative behaviors that we see in the media and the act of gaining status through cutting another person to the ground being positive just doesn't seem to be the behavior of choice.

All I Really Needed to Know Learned at Oklahoma FFA Alumni Camp

I just finished speaking at my 68th session of Oklahoma FFA Leadership Camp. This program is sponsored by the Oklahoma FFA Alumni, and it is one of the most phenomenal programs, and participating in it has made a positive impact on my life as well. Since 1994, I have been the kick-off speaker, doing 4 sessions every summer during the first two weeks of July. Here are some lessons that I have learned from camp that I have tried to weave into the fabric of my life. For those of you who were at camp, these are the lessons that are printed on the back of your "Best Friend". (at camp the term "Best Friend" is used to indicate their camp manual that they keep with them at all times).


1. Live with a smile on your face and love in your heart: It is amazing how a smile can make a positive difference on our day, how we feel about others and how others feel about you. Allowing yourself to smile more often is a great place to begin when making positive life changes.

2. Make each session of anything better than the last session you just finished: Camp is all about improvement, and focusing on getting better everyday. We are vigilant on improvement. Since there are four camps a summer the focus is always on getting better. Each year we work at making the next year better than the last year. By focusing on continuous improvement as an organization the individuals always find room to grow.

3. If someone is hanging back, encourage them: Camp is a great place because the small group leaders, the state officers and the staff are always finding ways to encourage others. What if we lived our lives always looking for ways to help others move upward and onward.

4. Don't use the "H" word and the "T" word they only bring others down: (I am whispering this: "H"=Hot and "T" = Tired and we don't use those words at camp) Choosing to not use those words at camp is a fun little game we play because we understand that the language we use has a powerful impact on our surroundings. We will be more productive when we focus on the opportunity instead of on the negative aspects of the situation.

5. Give Hugs:

6. Let others have the glory every chance you get:  Let's face it we live in a very "Me" centered culture and by spreading the glory to others we create ownership for others. When people feel ownership they are committed to making things better.

7. Be humble and they will remember you in positive ways after you leave: It is much easier to live with a humble person than an ego driven personality.

8. Playing in water brings people together: A really "cool" (pun intended) part of Alumni Camp is the water olympics. I wish that you could see it. It is a major production, and there is so much laughter and fun. It is a simple idea, but it makes a powerful impact on the camp, and the participants!

9. You never know when someone really important might be sitting next to you: Since we don't really know, doesn't it make sense to treat everyone with respect.

10. It doesn't matter who wins as much as who you become while you are playing: In a world obsessed with winning it would do us all good to focus on "who am I becoming" in the midst of the madness. When our focus is on becoming men and women of character, winning kind of takes a back seat. Not saying that we should strive to be our best. Camp is all about bringing your best self to the program everyday. However, if we disrespect others in the process by "trash talking" and "pumping our ego" what did we really win? Learning to win and lose with character and grace is the mark of a true champion.

11. Start off each day with lots of energizers: At camp we are very purposeful about how we start our day. We regard everyday as important and since amazing things are going to happen today it is important that we get ourselves going. Every day is special every day is unique, today your life might be changed, so it makes sense that we should get energized for today!

12. End each day sitting in a circle talking with people you care about: A huge piece of camp is "small group time" during this time campers go through a curriculum designed to teach leadership and respect for others. It is pretty cool to see how close the campers get with each other as a result of this experience. During this time a renewed appreciation for the individual arises as a result of people talking and listening to each other. In this day and age of electronic connectivity the power of face to face interaction is often over looked. What would happen in our personal lives if we spent a little time each day, giving value to others by practicing the art of listening. Leaders Listen!

13. Use yes sir, no sir, yes mam, no mam, Mr., Mrs., please and thank-you. It shows respect and the world needs more of it. I am always so pleased by the amount of respect I see teens at camp giving to adults and to each other.

14. Take a little time each day to reflect upon our wonderful country.  The flag raising and flag lowering ceremonies at camp are a site to behold. When you see 400 teens standing around the flag pole in absolute silence, reflecting on what it means to be an American it will give you a renewed since and hope for our country.

15. It is amazing who we become when we are put in a clean, powerful and positive environment: Expectations create amazing outcomes. At camp there is an expectation about how people behave, about how people interact and about how people work together. The expectation is that teens will be respectful, look out for each other and participate at a high level. That is exactly what happens, the run into sessions to fill the front rows, they get involved in the program, they interact with enthusiasm, and all of this leads to a great camp experience!

16. Send Happy Grams: Happy Grams are hand written notes given out to campers by campers, small group leaders, state officers and the staff. The rule of Happy Grams is that they are clean, powerful and positive and you can give one to anyone. It is amazing what a few simple words of encouragement can do to help us get through the challenges in our lives. The great thing about Happy Grams is that you don't need a yellow slip of paper to send one. You can send one anytime. You could write a short note today to someone you care about letting them know you noticed their kindness, attention to detail or thier smile. Try it! You don't need to be at camp to make a difference in someones life!

17. Give Thanks before each meal, and always thand the hands that prepared it and those that produced it.

18. Share your "Great Moments" and successes at the end of each day, and reflect upon what you can improve upon.

19. We are blessed to be a blessing to others: Yes, you heard it right...you are blessed to be a blessing! Be grateful that today you have an opportunity to help, encourage and support. The act of being a blessing for others blesses you!

20. Saying good-bye is never easy. The coolest part about camp is that campers don't want to go home. There are always tears on the last day of camp. It is often hard to say good-bye to new friends. People get close, relationships are forged and the way we know the experience was special is because of what we feel in our heart when it is time to go.

21. Keep your best friend with you at all times: It's kind of funny that at camp we always refer to our best friend as the notebook that we keep with us at all times, but there is really another message there. We should keep our best friend with us always, because even when they are not with us physically the friends that we make stay with us for a life time. They are with us in the memories of the struggles we shared and the laughs we had. Best friends are always in our hearts and that's why we go to camp.

To the 1600+ that attended the four sessions of camp this year. Thank-You! I was better than I should have been because of you. Thanks for laughing with me, thanks for getting involved and thanks for some great friendships! Remember to keep your best friend with you at all times and take a moment to connect with your friends at camp. I hope to see you next year!

To those who didn't go to camp. Maybe you got a piece of camp to take with you today. Keep the smile on your face and the love in your heart. If your reading this on Facebook, please leave a short comment, or addition!

Bill Cordes, The YOGOWYPI Guy

7 Tips for Hiring a Youth Speaker

As a youth speaker who has been walking the hallways of America's high schools for the past 20 years I can tell you that I have seen a lot of youth speakers come and go. It is a very challenging and rewarding profession. At the end of this post I am going to give you my short list of who I think you should hire to work with your students based upon the region in which they live. But before I do that I want to give you some tips that will support you in finding a speaker for your event.

Here are some things I would consider before hiring someone to speak at your school, to do a leadership retreat, or to be a part of any leadership initiative in your school. Keep in mind I am giving you the inside scoop, and some of the information that I give may not be popular with other speakers but it will assist you in finding the best speaker for your event.

1. Look for referrals from friends about people they have heard at conferences and from other speakers. This is the best way to find a successful speaker. If you have had good luck with a previous speaker ask them for a referral for your next program. Most speakers have a short list of people they have referred and they understand your needs. They want you to use them as a resource so they will refer you someone who will do a great job. Ask around your network for speakers that your co-workers have heard at other conferences. From your research create a list of 3-4 speakers.
2. Google. Facebook. Twitter.  Google the speaker, to find out where they have been and what other people have said about them. Go to their web page and learn about them. Add them as a friend on Facebook look at their posts. (Keep in mind that not all speakers FB and Twitter about every location. I quit doing that a few years ago because I didn't want all people to know when I am home and when I am gone.) But what you can see is what other people have said about their programs after leaving their event.  When you are researching a speaker look for direct unsolicited testimonials from previous clients on facebook. Students who add speakers and then comment on their page are usually unsolicited and gives you some insight as to what kind of a job they did when they spoke at their school. If they didn't like the speaker they wouldn't go through the trouble of adding them as a friend and then posting on their wall.
3. Find a local speaker who is also nationally recognized. Local speakers have a vested interest in your community, and by developing an ongoing relationship with them they will begin to understand the traditions of your school as well as understanding what you are looking for when speaking with your students. Yes, it is true that the majority of my clients are outside of my state but I also appreciate being able to stay home, and will offer a reduced rate because I don't have to get on a plane to speak at an event. (you will also save in travel costs) If you can't find a local speaker who is nationally recognized then find someone who comes to your area often. Since they come there a lot they will also feel a vested interest in your community.
4. Make sure the speaker fits. While a speaker may do a good job in a keynote presentation they may not have the skills to do a full day event. In order to do a full day event the presenter must have a core of material that they present on a consistent basis that they can adapt to fit the needs of your organization.
5. Once you have identified the speaker, contact them and let them know the needs of your event. What is your outcome, what are the specific challenges in your school, and then ask them what are the specific topics and activities that they will do to help your students learn the objectives.
6. Movement, humor and activities. Make sure that your speaker has the ability to incorporate movement, humor and activities into their program. It is easy to have a great message, but it is more challenging to have a message with which students can connect.
7. Experience speaks volumes! If a speaker has been full time in the business for 5 years or more then chances are they can reach students. This business weeds out the bad ones very quickly.

Here is my short list by region these are speakers that I recommend. All of them are nationally known but I have categorized by region so you can develop a relationship with someone who is close to you.

Hawaii:

Delorese Gregoire: http://www.winnerscamp.com/ She is my long term mentor in the speaking business and is recognized in Hawaii for her work with teens. She facilitates a week long leadership program on Oahu called: Winners Camp - The Hawaii Leadership Academy. Delorese has her own leadership training site located on Kamehameha Ridge that over looks Sandys Beach/Hawaii Kai on one side and Makapu'u and Waimanalo on the other side. It is a beautiful facility and is a great site for hosting one-day leadership retreats as well.

Western States:

 Phil Boyte: http://www.philboyte.com/ he is one of the best in the business. Phil has been speaking to students since the early 80's and is my mentor in the business. If you want a home run with your audiences of any type he will deliver! He loves kids, is activity driven and speaks to the hearts of students. He can keynote, do workshops, all school assemblies and is great with students, teachers and adults. Phil travels from Northern California.

Keith Hawkins: http://www.keithhawkins.com/ Keith has been passionate about making a difference for a long time. I have followed him on numerous occasions and his clients rave about the kind of job he does. Keith travels from Northern California.

Jill Esplin: http://www.jillesplin.com/ Jill is a relative newcomer to the business but has proven herself very quickly as a dynamic speaker, who knows her audience and delivers great content.

Norm Hull: http://www.normhull.com/ Norm has been speaking to high school students since the 80's as well. He has a proven track record in working with student leadership programs and delivers a great message.

Brad Barton: http://www.bradbarton.com/ Brad is a corporate speaker, magician who does some youth events. I know that he is a big fan of staying near his home in Utah so if you are near him you should give him a call about working with your students.

Upper Midwest: If you are located in the Dakotas, Minnesota, Wisconsin, or Iowa and you need a local speaker the two best speakers nationally recognized speakers in your area are:

Craig Hillier: http://www.craighillier.com/ Craig is one of the best workshop and all school assembly presenters I have had the pleasure of meeting. His content is amazing and his humor is always fresh, on target and on purpose. Craig is amazing when it comes to sports related leadership programs. Anything that deals with teams, team captains and creating a quality experience for an athlete Craig is in my opinion the best in the nation. That being said he can hold his own with any speaker in the country when it comes to general leadership.

Patty Hendrickson: http://www.pattyhendrickson.com/ Patty specializes in leadership development for student organizations. She has a proven track record in working with Career and Technical Student Organizations such as FFA, FCCLA, Skills USA, DECA, FBLA and HOSA. She delivers an amazing keynote and her workshops are quality content and relatable to students.

Mid-States: Kansas, Oklahoma, Iowa, Missouri, Illinois, Indiana, Texas, Colorado, Nebraska,

This is my area: http://www.billcordes.com/ my specialty is leadership experiences and all school assemblies. I have twenty years of experience and I will make sure I hit the target when it comes to meeting your objectives. Staying local is a priority for me, I am a big fan of return events to school districts getting to know the kids and developing a long-term working relationship so that I can fit your needs. I work with teachers, high school, college students and businesses.

Grant Baldwin: http://www.grantbaldwin.com/ Grant has taken the speaking world by storm because of his humor and great content. Another relative new comer to be business but all you have to do is google him and see that he has certainly paid his dues in the business. He does keynote programs and workshops.

Rhett Laubach: http://www.yournextspeaker.com/ Rhett has been around the youth speaking market for nearly as long as me and is ten years younger than me. He is a great author and student of leadership. His speaking style is off the charts fun and energetic and his content is equally as valuable.

Kelly Barnes http://www.yournextspeaker.com/ Kelly has been speaking professionally for over 5 years and is known for his great stories, great content and humor. He does all school assemblies, leadership programs and workshops.

Brad Montgomery: http://www.bradmontgomery.com/ Brad is mostly a corporate speaker who is a "Funny Motivational Speaker" who uses humor to teach great life lessons and leadership insights. His schedule is very busy but if you are in the Colorado and surrounding areas you should give him a shot, he might work with you and you will get a great local speaker who has a lot of national identity.

Northeast Region:

Ed Gerety: http://www.edgerety.com/ Ed and I started speaking at around the same time and he has a lot of experience in keynotes, student assemblies and does some workshops. He has a great message, with humor and great stories.

Southeast Region:

Harriet Turk: http://www.harrietturk.com/ Harriet is also a seasoned professional in the speaking business. Workshops, keynotes, all school assemblies she is one of the best when it comes to working with youth audiences. Her unique blend of southern humor, stories and living life to your fullest messages are a sure hit with any audience.

Patrick Grady http://www.patricktgrady.com/ Another southerner, with national appeal. Patrick has an in-depth knowledge of youth organizations, is knock down funny and gives solid content that students can relate to and identify with. I have recommended Patrick on numerous occasions and I have always got rave reviews about his programs.

Cost of Doing a Class Development Leadership Retreat.

A class development leadership retreat is an annual event in which you work to create class identity and develop leadership traditions within your school. I believe it to be a valuable part of the high school experience. Because students who have no ownership to their class will not have any allegiance to their school. One reason an administrator may not do it is because they feel it is too costly during these times of financial uncertainty. So what does it cost to put on a retreat? I have done leadership retreats for classes as large as 400 and as few as 20. Lets base our numbers on a retreat for 80 students for a time frame of 5 hours going from 9am to 2pm. If you pay full price for everything you are looking at around $3500. If you get some donations from local businesses, have the students pay for their meals, snacks and drinks, promote an annual fundraiser to defer the cost, you can easily break even on this event. Here are some suggestions:

1. Send home a permission slip and envelop with your freshman or sophomores telling them your students are attending the annual "class development retreat". Tell them the outcomes of the retreat. "We are doing this to develop leadership, set class goals, and to support your students in having a quality high school experience by ending bullying behaviors and developing class traditions. The suggested donation for this event is $10 to cover snacks, drinks and lunch. If you don't donate your child will still be able to attend." They send back the permission slip in the envelop and most parents will send the $10.


2. Ask local businesses to sponsor the event. You might even be able to get a pizza place to donate the pizzas for the day. If you get can get 4-$250 donations you cut the cost dramatically. If you have a vendor like Coke or Pepsi that has machines in your school ask them to sponsor the drinks for the day, or ask for monetary donation from them. See if you can get some of the clubs or organizations in your school to set aside some dollars to fund the event. Often times organizations like FFA, FCCLA, HOSA, DECA or Skills USA would be happy to kick in a few hundred dollars to help sponsor leadership development training.


3. Work with a local presenter or speaker. In my next blog post I will talk about working with a local presenter, and who you should hire to maximize this initiative. Just make sure they are a quality presenter because not hiring a professional who does not have the skills to engage an audience will defeat your initiative.


4. Make it an annual event and at the end of day 1-year 1 ask the speaker to ask the class. "Was today a valuable experience for you?" If the speaker did a great job most will say, "Yes". Have them ask, "Do you think next years class should have this experience as well?" "Would you like to sponsor next years training for next years class? This could be a gift that you could give to them, and each class can continue to pay it forward for the next class." Their first initiative would be a fundraiser they could do for paying for the training for next years class. Let them decide what to do, and remember regardless of what they raise it will help defer the cost of the training for next year. By the way, leadership initiatives like this support students in using the skills they learned at the training and it becomes a reminder of what they learned at the event.

When you do the four above things it will help you defer the cost of the event, but back to my original question. "What is the cost of doing a class development leadership retreat?" The real cost of doing a leadership retreat comes when we fail to do anything to develop the leaders in our school. By choosing to do nothing to develop leaders you are likely to leave leadership up to chance. Some years you will have leadership and some years you will have a void. If you don't develop leaders early you will pay the price in discipline referrals, vandalism, drama, dealing with student drop-out (if you keep one student in school you have paid for the price of the retreat), and much more. The real key is to make sure you have a system in place for developing leadership in your school. By developing student leaders when they first enter your school you develop a tradition. By doing it every year as a class development project you will get the opportunity to relay the traditions and expectations of how people will treat each other in your school so they can maximize their high school experience. All this being said, I can tell you that having a quality person who leads this retreat is paramount in your success! I will cover that in my next blog post!

Leadership Must Be Intentional

That's my son on his cousins horse out in the Panhandle of Oklahoma. He talks about that horse, he wants me to get him a horse, he dreams about owning a horse and he hopes that I will get him a horse. Call me a dream stealer, but the likely-hood of me getting him a horse anytime soon is just about zero. It is just not practical for us and where we live for my son to have a horse. However, if hoping, dreaming, talking, wishing were enough we would all have all the stuff we want in the world. You and I know that it doesn't work that way. That being said, why do we hope, wish and talk about developing leaders in our schools without doing anything about it. Telling students..."you need to be a leader" will not make them a leader, yet I think that becomes the extent of the leadership training we give students in our schools, organizations and sports programs around the country. I am guilty! With my 6th grade sons basketball team I have been guilty of pulling him a side in key situations and telling him. "Everyone is going to respond to you the way you are responding...you need to step up and be a leader!" Think about it how many times have we expected, hoped, talked about and wished the leadership fairy would just show up and our schools would have leaders! Leadership development is a process, it is intentional and as we develop we need to continue to develop our leaders. It can be challenging! I think the moment school starts we expect the upper classmen to just show up as leaders to always do the right thing, to make good decisions, but we need to keep in mind that we need to have a process for developing young leaders because leaders need to be trained! HOW DO WE DO IT?

1. Take a look at what you did last year to develop school leadership. What did you do that intentionally developed leadership in your school? Ask yourself how effective was what I did?


2. Look at the number of leadership programs that are available to our athletes, organizational leaders, and community development programs. Ask yourself...Am I utilizing all of these initiatives.


3. Talk to other teachers, coaches, advisors and administrators about specific steps they have taken to develop leadership within their students and then ask them how effective was it and can we duplicate this in our school in other areas.


4. Host a leadership retreat that has specific objectives about what we want to accomplish. It is always a good idea to hire a professional leadership trainer that makes sure the message is engaging and informing.


5. What are the key character messages your leaders should be living? Then ask your students to discover strategies for teaching these lessons to younger students. It is amazing how much easier it is to make these messages a part of ourselves when we are teaching the lessons.


6. Break it down. Develop leaders by class. For instance, have a strategy for teaching different elements of leadership to different classes. Freshman have different needs than Seniors. Start looking at what types of leadership behaviors it would be good for the Freshman to get and the Seniors to model.


7. Have a strategy for rewarding leadership in your school. Reward respect, positive behaviors, sportsmanship, assisting others, volunteerism etc..


8. Record what works and then delegate those initiatives to others so you can continue to work on new leadership initiatives.

Remember, leadership is not a right of passage we don't just suddenly learn to lead. Leadership happens because we are intentional about teaching leadership in our communities.